mekong red.

A fire ravaged through the dry grass brought in by the drought and a single spark ignited into a flame that engulfed the park that I usually take my strolls at. What's crazier is that it wasn't a particularly hot day that the fire happened on, I even remember remarking how cold it was that day.

I only came across the ashes today trying to get my steps in for the Pikmin Bloom community day. We need rain BAD!!

At least the log is still intact. The fire couldn't take that away. It'll probably be years before this place heals though.

As I walked past the burn site there was a bald man, shirtless on a bench blasting drum and bass while I caught a whiff of marijuana in the air. He was looking at the flock of pigeons that had come to feast on all the exposed insects that the fire had released. Awesome.

Also I might be sick, either that or I need a new mattress, or to stop moving so much. My muscles ache and my joints feel weak for no real reason, I feel tired all the time, even yesterday I fell asleep midday... Nah, its chill probably, I just need to stretch more I think.

Like much of the world, London is experiencing unrelenting droughts and heatwaves at unprecedented levels. When it gets that hot, when the sun is baring down on my skin and the warm thick air scrapes the back of my neck, a thought begins to form, slowly spiralling with each second under the sun. That this might truly be the beginning of the end and we don't even know it. That my dreams and aspirations are futile because life as we know it will never be the same. That my struggles are nothing in the face of ephemera. I see the dry grasses, the fires and I, for a second truly think that these might be the very last days of this whole thing.

Then a breeze passes me by and the thought disappears with the wind, my mind is cleared of all cynicism and I'm no longer scared. The heat makes me fickle, but comfort makes me soft.

I wrote this weeks ago during the first heatwave and forgot to finish it, then I rewrote it again for the fourth and forgot about it too. Its cooler now, but I'm sure it'll be relevant again in a couple of days when we experience our fifth.

I got coffee with a friend at a café where the barista is a friend of theirs and gave us lattes for free. My second cup of the day, but I'm not going to say no. Isn't community nice?

Sometimes I find it annoying that I'm the only one who initiates things, but that would also mean I would have to ignore all the times that I said no to invitations so I guess it levels to a neutral state of emotion. That being said, I am the least busy out of everyone I know so maybe that has something to do with it.

Speaking of busy, the friend group is dead I think. I still talk to some of them separately, but for the most part it was gainful employment that saw it to the end. Cracks were forming last year of university but it just became more and more apparent that we were friends mostly out of proximity and some shared humour than actual shared interests and thoughts. There was no explosion, just a slow fizzle, less and less texts until a week passes by without a word. A lot of them are still my friends, but the 'group' as we know it, couldn't last beyond the back row of seats in the lecture hall.

I guess its just another part of life that I get to live. At least I still have the memories.